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And although slim and stylish enough in clothes, he was hardly love’s young dream (or even geriatric dream) when stripped down to black underwear. Here were beta-blockers, statins, warfarin and paracetamol, the standard nightly pharmacopeia of today’s elderly male. He swallowed all his pills, plumped up his pillows and to get into the mood opened his version of hard porn: the New Scientist!

I tactfully ignored the gradual revelation of the sunken grey hairy chest, the pallor of ageing flesh and the stick-thin legs. He started to put packets of pills by his bedside table. His first words of love were: 'Do you know about these elusive particles called neutrinos?

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